Love on the Run
By Ella Sheridan
I write romantic suspense, sexy romantic suspense. You might even say erotic romantic suspense. For some reason my characters have to have sex, often in the most inconvenient places and at the most inconvenient times. It’s maddening! I tell them, “Now’s not the time!” But do they listen? No! They just keep right on, well, you know…
Seriously though, we make fun of “bodice rippers” and the old romances where having sex on the back of a galloping horse running across the moors at night was common—nice rhythm but bumpy, very bumpy…and can you say saddle horn? Ouch!—but modern heroes and heroines get caught up at inopportune times as well.
There are definite drawbacks to inconvenient, uh, needs, but there are some pluses too. I guess quickies are really not that bad of an idea, even if a guy with an Uzi is searching the dark, dank warehouse for your hiding place while you are, um, at it. My latest hero, Conlan, is pretty darn amazing at meeting my heroine’s needs, no matter where or when or how long— But I digress.
What was I saying? Oh yes…
Below I’ve listed both the pluses and minuses of these kinds of situations, those issues our passionate couples have to face in times of desperate, rushed need. Have a look, and then you tell me: is love on the run worth it or not?
- Horror story consequences—is this not the first thing that comes to everyone’s mind when they think of forbidden or hurried nookie in an odd place? We’re not all teenage couples in a cabin in the woods, but everyone knows that the first couple to have sex always dies. (Dying would be a definite minus.) But, well, if you have to die, what a way to go! (That’s kind of a plus, right?)
- Realism is too often sacrificed. I mean, hey, I might need you desperately, and we might be in the middle of a dense jungle where a tree is the only convenient “wall” to push me up against, but that bark is rough on my bare backside, you know? I’m gonna be walking funny the next day, and it’s not because of the hero’s prowess—it’s because my butt feels like someone took a cheese grater to it! No one talks about those consequences, now do they? (Minus!)
Of course, the kind of adrenaline rush it takes to ignore the cheese grater on my rear could lead to a real blowout of a climax. (Or an aneurysm—just sayin’. I guess the result determines if this one is a plus or minus…)
- Delays—they’re inevitable if you want to get this done right. No one is that fast climaxing with that kind of pressure. The bad guys will definitely catch up with you. (Minus.) Still… No, I can’t think of a plus side here.
- Speaking of fast, can you say lube? Synthetic or natural, a couple needs it, and somehow I don’t see every hero carrying it casually in his pocket just in case. And if you’re in a hurry, I’m thinking the pressure to perform might inhibit you on the natural end here as well. (There’s no such thing as “no pressure” in this situation—definite minus.)
And again, not seeing a plus side.
- This one is a plus! Your, um, situation might—and I emphasize might—distract the bad guys if they catch up to you (and they will; see above) with your pants down. That might—really emphasizing might—give you a few seconds to get away…if your pants don’t impede you. (Minus!)
- Lack of breath. If your idea of a hot hero is a sexy talker, you’re out of luck, ladies, ’cause he’s out of breath. (Aw! Minus…and I’m pouting just at the thought.) On the other hand, there’s something to say for breathy moans, whether they’re from running or thrusting. (Pah-pah-plus.)
- Last but not least, sex is always a great tension reliever! You’ll feel awesomely relaxed afterward. (Plus!) That is, until the villains reach target range or, you know, hatchet range (please refer back to number one; definite minus).
And there you have it, dear readers, the reasons for—and against—mid-pursuit loving! I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking the minuses outweigh the pluses. Of course, some of the pluses are to die for. Really. The hero’s magnificent prowess is always worth it, isn’t it?
Okay, okay, I guess we can make them wait if we have to. Living is more important. *pouts* Where’s the nearest safe room?
Teach Me Book Blurb:
A woman determined to heal…
Shy researcher Jess Kingston spent the last eight weeks recovering from her ex-boyfriend’s brutal attack. Body healed, she’s ready to put her life back together—except her ex isn’t ready to let go. She won’t cower in a corner while Brit tortures her, but she’s powerless to fight back.
A man determined to resist…
Ex-military security specialist Conlan James avoids commitment like the plague. His job, his Harley, and the occasional one-night stand are all he needs, until the day he rescues Jess from a tense situation and realizes he can’t get her off his mind. He can teach her to protect herself, but protecting his heart is another matter.
A madman determined to win…
As the deadly game of cat-and-mouse with Brit heats up, so does the hunger between Con and Jess. Safety might be found in numbers, but in bed, all bets are off—and the wrong move could lead to heartbreak. Or death.
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Author Bio & Social Media Links:
Ella grew up in the Deep South, where books provided adventures, friends, and her first taste of romance. Now she writes her own romantic adventures, with plenty of hot alpha men and the women who love and challenge them. With a day job, a husband, two active teenagers, and two not so active cats, Ella is always busy, but getting the voices in her head down on paper is a top priority. Connect with Ella at www.ellasheridanauthor.com .
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